Not being able to speak clearly can lead to all kinds of frustrations. I have laryngeal dystonia (aka, spasmodic dysphonia). My voice doesn’t always initiate. When it does, it likes to cut out.

I went to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack (I wasn’t, thank the Lord). My mom drove me for safety. We walked into the ER and straight up to the check-in desk. While others were sitting in the waiting area, no one else was at the desk.

And I mean no one. We stood there for a good 10 minutes before anyone helped us. I guess if you’re not screaming, you have to settle in and wait. A lady finally sat down in the chair behind the glass partition, and she went through all the intake questions.

It was not a good voice day for me, not to mention the chest pain, so I struggled to speak loudly enough for my words to get past the glass partition. My vowels kept dropping out, along with specific consonants (usually M, N, and R). Since most medical facilities are painfully ironically not equipped to serve people with disabilities, there was no other way to communicate without resorting to pen and paper.

But no other option for communication was given. This woman turned to my mom and started asking about my personal information. I felt humiliated.

While the interaction (or lack thereof) was short-lived, I couldn’t help but wonder what they might have done if I had no one else with me. In the “age of technology”, it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility to have augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices available, whether it’s a simple touchpad (many people with autism use these) or text-to-speech keyboard (sometimes used by those who’ve had strokes). Or, a pen and paper is a great option.

I know, it was the ER, so what’s the big deal, right? Maybe she was just in a hurry! And you’re right, maybe she was (after taking 10 minutes to talk to us, but whatever!). Well, again, if my mom hadn’t been there, I would’ve been the only one to communicate with. If urgency is key, then provision for communication should be prioritized.

It’s always embarrassing to not be able to speak up for yourself. I’m a grown woman with children; I’ll admit, there is something a little awkwardly demeaning about someone asking my mom for personal details about me.

Emergency room aside, this fast-paced world does not often sit around and wait for you to complete your thoughts. I’ve always gotten interrupted. While my therapist has given me great tips for how to handle those types of interactions, the bottom line is that we really don’t give room for silence in conversations. We don’t let people pause and gather their thoughts. If someone speaks slowly or pauses often, someone might try to complete that person’s sentences. Would you want someone to talk for you, just because they didn’t have the patience to see what you really wanted to say?

This blog post could go in multiple directions, so I may do some off-shoots in the future. For now, just consider taking time to pause and listen when someone wants to talk to you.

What do you think? Do you get frustrated when someone interrupts or ignores you? Has someone talked over you before?