I’ve encountered my fair share of outrageous comments and large egos when seeing doctors. Some doctors have made inappropriate comments, while others have made cussing a habit during visits, and still others made such outrageous (and, as it turns out, wrong) claims that I was left embarrassed and in tears.

One doctor’s ego was so big, he committed assault. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a name for it at the time, and as it’s been over a decade (and I can’t remember the name of the practice or the doctor), it’s too late to report him. But let’s be honest: That’s terrifying. We shouldn’t have to be so worried about saying the “wrong” thing where we believe a doctor will hurt us when they examine us.

While that particular doctor was over-the-top (and looking back, either extremely insecure or with full-blown narcissistic personality disorder…or both), most doctors aren’t going to hurt us. However, a bruised ego is, sadly, a common sight. I’ve had many doctors bristle at me coming prepared to a visit, with ideas of what might be wrong with me. I’ve had doctors get frustrated if I disagree with them. After all, they have the medical degree, so they should have all the answers, right? How dare I question their highly educated judgment!

Here’s the thing: What a lot of doctors don’t understand is that if we’re coming to them for a second opinion, or even a third or more opinion, they may have a very well-thought-out, educated opinion, but then so did the other doctors we talked to. Which doctor should we believe?

It’s not a personal attack on a doctor’s education or experience or even their ego if a patient does not immediately agree with or believe them. We’re actually in a very challenging position of hearing a lot of great thoughts on what’s happening to us, and we do indeed want to hear them. Ultimately, it’s down to the patient to decide what to do about their own health. Often with little medical education of their own, they have to decide which of these medical professionals is steering them in the right direction. It’s an intimidating decision to make.

At the end of the day, it is the patient’s right to decide what’s best for them. It’s better if a doctor can equip them to make a good decision, rather than challenge and deride them, leaving them stumped, embarrassed, and still sick.

We call it “practicing” medicine for a reason. There is no room for an ego in the medical field.